Panda Pop
by Karma Killer 11
Summary: Tenten needs to find the perfect valentine. Unfortunately, not only is Valentine's Day tomorrow, but Tenten has no idea what she's doing. Some people just aren't cut out for this type of thing... A Nejiten One-shot


Hey all! Ok, so this one's a lot longer then my usual ones... I had a hell of a time editing it, because I started it a long time ago, and just finished it recently. The style changes a bit midway, hopefully it's not too obvious... Dedicated to Fooshi, who's leaving in one day to go to summer camp. I'll miss you!

Reviews would be lovely, I need as much help as I can get. :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Target.

* * *

Chocolate? No, too cliché.

Roses? Nah, they'd die within two days.

Stuffed Animals? Hmm… No, too kid-ish. They wouldn't be appreciated.

I groaned and hit my head on the cool metal of the aisle shelves.

Yes, I was in a department store. Shopping for… the perfect valentine. And guess what? Perfection really_ is _seemingly impossible. None of these gifts fit. And it was the day before Valentine's Day; I was running out of time. Ugh… The only thing that could make this day worse would be discovery. Being found in the Valentine section of a department store was the utmost last thing that I needed.

"Hey!" A loud voice rang out across the store. "Tennie!" Damn you irony, burn in hell…

_Maybe they're talking to someone else…_ I thought hopefully. _Maybe when I turn around there'll be nothing there._

I glanced over my shoulder.

"Tenten! Hey!" Yelled Ino, running towards me as she waved her arms to-and-fro.

_Shit_. I flat out ran like hell.

"Not so fast!" A kunai whistled over my ear. Ino was playing dirty. This meant only one thing… I had to fight fire with fire.

Smirking, I threw a couple smoke bombs on the ground.

_FOOSH!_ The air was soon thick with smoke. A person wouldn't be able to see their hand in front of their own face. So, naturally, I took the opportunity to jump into another aisle. _Hah,_ I thought smugly,_ I wi-_BAM!

I was knocked to the ground by something. Something big. And furry. And smelled like dog… Damn, Kiba was here too?

As if reading my mind, a carefree, very Kiba-like voice rang out. "Sorry, Ten," Kiba laughed, "I'm my girlfriend's bitch. It had to be done."

"Damn straight." Ino said assertively. The smoke was rising up, higher to the ceiling, so on the floor (I was _still_ knocked down) I could see their fuzzy outlines.

"Kiba?" I asked. "How the hell did you get Akamaru in here?"

Kiba snorted. "Why, I used my rugged good looks and sexy charm."

This time it was Ino who snorted. "He's lying, I flirted with the cashier, so nobody saw him walk i- Tenten, get your ass back here!"

Huh. So much for escaping using 'Ninja Escape Tactic Number 14,' the distraction technique. I guess Ino doesn't give up that easily.

"Fine, you got me. What do you want?" I snarled, squinting through the still rising fog.

Ino giggled and nudged me with her foot. "We want to know what you're doing in the _valentine_ section of a store! But it's a good thing Kiba was here to sniff you out; I would've totally lost you in that smoke screen."

_Kiba, you traitor…_ I sighed. He was so whipped.

"So…" Ino's voice drawled. "Were you looking for a valentine? You never struck me as the romantic type, but after all, it _is_ tomorrow."

"N-no!" I spluttered. "I... I… I was looking for throwing knives, but I got lost!" Oh yeah, that'll convince them. Definitely.

Ino sighed in exasperation. "Tenten, why would they sell throwing knives here? It's a local _department store_. Not for ninja weapons." I could almost see Ino rolling her eyes.

"… Well, I don't feel that I should dignify that with a response."

"Uhuh, that's what I thought. Anyway, about this valentine… is it for Neji?" I could hear Ino's smirk in her words.

This was _not _turning out well. I could either answer her questions and (probably) leave unscathed, or possibly sit here for all eternity, being mercilessly tormented by Ino and her bitch.

…

Option one looked pretty nice in comparison.

"Okay, I'll tell you." I sighed. _Damn, this was gonna sound so cliché…_ "I was looking for a valentine. For Neji. I mean, he's never made me one, and I'm sick of waiting for him to make the first move. What if he's gay? Then I'd be waiting for eternity."

I heard Kiba stifling a laugh.

"But," I continued, "Nothing is working. Can I go now?"

"… Fine." Ino muttered darkly. "But only because I'm in a rush; you were lucky this time. Don't think you're off the hook, you'd better get him something for tomorrow."

Easier said than done.

At that very moment, the smoke (which I had totally forgotten about) reached the smoke detector. It beeped a few times, and quick as a flash, Kiba pulled off his hooded parka (wait, didn't he stop wearing that, like, forever ago?) and dressed Ino in it. Right as the sprinklers went off.

Yup, today was not a good day.

So I went home, valentineless, my secret discovered, soaking wet, and with the sound of Ino gushing over Kiba ringing in my ears. Blech.

Sitting at home, (still wet, mind you) I waited for inspiration to strike me. Like how lightning strikes a tree, only minus the fire and death, and other such misfortunes. I waited. And waited. And waited.

I guess I dozed off. When I came to it was six in the morning, and now both my clothes _and_ my chair were wet. Fantastic.

I glanced at my alarm clock. Shit. I was supposed to meet Neji at the training grounds in an hour. Yup, one freakin' hour to come up with an idea that didn't suck. Well, I was seriously screwed. What could I make? What could I make?!

Frantically, I scrambled around my room. I could give him my famous sakura tree painting… but what would I say to him?

_Here, Neji, take this gorgeous and absolutely NOT gay painting. It reminded me of you…_

Yeah, right. Ooh, how about this pencil?

_Happy Valentine's Day, Neji. You can stab me for getting you such a crappy present. _And_ it writes! What a thoughtful gift, huh?_

Ok, no… Hm, I could give him a spare bra?

_Neji, take this. 'Cause I'm not a slut. I don't want you to picture me wearing this. Nope._

I pulled a face and dropped the bra. Neji would probably beat my sorry ass if I did that. Man, guys these days just don't have a feel for (very) modern poetry.

Poetry! That's it! Yeah, its lame, but I have five minutes!

I quickly pulled out a pencil and piece of paper, and began to write.

'Dear Neji…' Ok, that's a good start. Man, I really suck at this whole poetry thing. Three minutes! Ack!

'Dear Neji,

Happy Valentine's Day

Yup, good ol' Tenten saving the day

Oh, I used 'day' twice

Still, makes it sound nice

I was at a loss of what to get you

Panda Bear? Kangaroo?

Stuffed animals wouldn't work

Cuz you're just that kind of jerk

I've never received

A valentine from you

Only from Lee

Ten years I've know you two!

Is it really that hard?

To make me a card?

Valentines are fun

God damnit, make me one!

P.S. I love you'

I smiled with satisfaction and rolled up the scrap of paper that contained my terrible- no, _artistic_, yeah, _artistic _poem. I shot a final glance at the clock face. According to the iridescent numbers, I was supposed to meet Neji… two minutes ago. Damn.

I faced a difficult decision – get dry clothes so I didn't absolutely die via frostbite in Konoha's wintery embrace, or leave now, sprint, and not be 20 minutes late. Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place! The wrath of Neji, versus freezing to death.

One mental image of Neji's could-be expression later, I was out the door.

Oh holy_ shit_ it was cold! I wouldn't be surprised if my breath crystallized in mid-air. Haha, that would be wei- Oh my God, were my clothes icing over?!

I broke into a run, praying that I wouldn't turn into the world's biggest (and probably only) Panda-pop.

My breath, although not exactly solidifying the moment it touched the air, was coming out in ragged gasps. But I just pushed myself harder. Must… get… to… training… Hah, and Lee says I have no discipline.

After about five minutes of this torture, I reached the forest where we trained. I pushed my way past the tree branches, which scratched at my face and hands, as if doing their best to prevent me from reaching my destination. The problem was, I just had no time to find the path we'd made, worn down from years of treading into the clearing where we practiced.

… Besides, my entire body was practically numb – I could hardly feel the scratches. No biggie. Really.

I pulled out a kunai and began to savagely hack my way through the undergrowth. Bitches, let me through!

Finally, _finally_, I sawed the last branch out of the way. Yes! I broke into the clearing and-!

Nobody was there.

Nobody. Was. There.

Story of my life.

I slowly sank to my knees, and then promptly collapsed on a tree trunk. Neji wasn't here, and if he was this late, chances were he wouldn't be coming. I felt like just curling up and dying here. But I was determined not to cry. Oh, too late…

Great, now my eyeballs might freeze.

I was so absorbed in wiping my tears away in a rather panicky, frantic manner that I failed to detect a person coming up behind me. Well, in all fairness to me, the person had taken the pathway as opposed to blundering through the forest like a bear. Therefore, less sound. So it's all cool, it's fine, we're good.

"Hey," came a breathless voice that I knew better than the back of my hand. "Sorry I'm late, I was doing some stuff and– wait, are you_ crying_?"

Oh, of course. How typical! In all the days of the ten years I had known him, he chooses today to be late. Just my luck.

I looked up into the face of the one and only Neji Hyuuga. Clan prodigy, total jackass, and the best friend I could ever hope for.

He was wearing his long hair in two braids, a light green snow jacket, and a matching hat. The tip of his nose was red from the cold, which struck me as funny. The first few years I'd known him, Neji had always had a cold attitude. What if his nose was permanently red back then?

I grinned to myself, thinking of my terrible joke.

"Uh, Tenten?"

That snapped me back into reality. "Oh, sorry, what?"

I saw Neji give an inward sigh. Jerk… "I asked if you'd been crying. There are tear tracks frozen on your faze. What were you thinking? Why aren't you dressed properly?"

I held up my hands defensively. "Whoah, whoah, back up chico, I can only answer so many questions! Yes, I'm crying. On a principle, I just don't think. I didn't have time to change because I was afraid that a certain teammate of mine would flay me alive if I was late."

Neji frowned. "Flaying alive? That's gross. Why were you crying? Are you hurt?"

I frowned right back at him. Again with the questions! "Not hurt, or at least I don't think I am. I'm kind of too numb to tell, though. I was crying because I was planning on confessing my love to you, but overslept and thought you weren't coming, resulting in all of my efforts being in vain."

It was as easy as that. I just confessed, and I didn't even bat an eyelash. What had I been thinking? It's Neji. And things like this were always simple with Neji. No need for hours of fretting and strategizing. No need for an elaborate plan. Not with Neji.

I contemplated this. Maybe that's why I loved him so much. Everything with Neji was so straightforward, as opposed to others who play their little games, and make a complex situation out of something relatively simple. A mountain out of a molehill.

Not saying love is simple. But now it's all really just a matter of agreement or rejection, yeah?

Neji was nodding to my prior statement explaining my tears. "Makes sense," he said, sitting down next to me. "And yes, I love you too."

As simple as that.

"Oh!" I cried out suddenly, totally ruining the moment. "I forgot!"

I began digging through my pockets for my poem. I knew it was terrible, but damn it, I spent time on it and wouldn't budge until Neji soaked up the thoughtfulness of it all.

I finally found the little balled-up scrap of paper, pulled it out, and handed it to Neji. He unwrinkled the paper, glanced at it, then raised an eyebrow. "Assorted frozen vegetables, six dollars." He read aloud. "Orange pattern knee-highs, four dollars. Multicolored construction paper, seven dollars. Spotted sleepwear bra, sixteen dollars. Thank you for shopping at Target."

"Oops." I snatched my receipt back from Neji, and continued on my epic search for the poem. When I finally found it, I handed it to him with an air of triumph.

This time Neji read silently to himself. He soon finished, pocketed the poem, and leaned back against the tree with a thoughtful expression across his face.

"Well?" I prompted him. "How was it?"

"Eh… probably the worst poem I've ever read." Neji replied truthfully. He then stood up, brushed his clothes off, and offered me a hand. "But it does have a point. I've never given you a valentine before, have I?"

I took his hand and pulled myself up. "No, unless you count last year when Lee tried to say that the pink spandex he bought for me was from both of you."

Neji grinned. "Ah, memories. Well, I suppose I'll have to make it up to you. Let's go get some hot chocolate into you before you die from hypothermia."

So together we ambled into the nearest café, got the world's crappiest hot chocolate, and drank a toast to the new happy couple. Touching, right?

The next day both Neji and I had food poisoning and had to call in sick.

But it's still a nice story.


End file.
